Truth and Reconciliation. How Will You Participate?


If you’re not indigenous, it might be easy to think that the work of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada has nothing to do with you and you’d be wrong.

September 16-22nd nationally in Canada is the culmination of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of Canada’s work. It’s the culmination of acknowledging and hearing the personal stories of past wrongs done to aboriginal people; admitting that aboriginal families were ripped apart, children were tortured and raped and even used in experiments as recently came to light, with starvation as the test,  taken from their families and put into residential schools run by churches of many denominations, so that they could be shed of their “savage” ways and be assimilated into Canada’s dominant non aboriginal culture.

Many died. And if they didn’t, they died inside, lost to themselves, their value, their potential to Canada gone forever, or at the very least diminished. And, it’s still happening. It’s happening right next door and down the street. “Just open your eyes,” said Shirley Turcotte, a counsellor specializing in Aboriginal Land based Focusing-Oriented therapy who counsels First Nations’ people nationally, and holds workshops throughout the U.S. and Canada.

It’s easy to write those words. So quick. Flowing out of the keyboard. Then, I stop and think about the fact that in Canada, we’re having a Commission that has meant that people who were already traumatized as children are being re-traumatized and must speak about their degradation so that their horrific experiences can be categorized and their pain can  be quantified – as if – so that they can be given cash as a token compensation. Blood money. But something.

What about those who are too lost to speak? Too many aboriginal men in prison. First Nations’ women murdered in Vancouver and along the Highway of Tears.  And when will more of us get that there’s a connection between inter-generational trauma and  poverty, inter-generational trauma  and mental illness, and staying relegated to the shadows, observers, and sometimes, even, as an indirect route to death?

You might think, as a non aboriginal person, what’s it got to do with me? This is the 21st century. Those Indians need to get over it.   You didn’t do anything. You weren’t even born then. Except the last federally-run residential school only closed in 1996.

And, most importantly, here’s the thing. You can’t have reconciliation if the rest of society – non aboriginal people – don’t get it, don’t even want to make the attempt. You can’t have reconciliation if non aboriginal people cringe a little bit every time someone starts a public event thanking the Coast Salish for allowing the event to happen on their territory or they think that cultural traditions that are hundreds of years old, like smudging, sweats, pow wows and a personal and abiding connection to the land, are just quaint little ceremonies.


Reconciliation can’t exist if you’re one of those non aboriginal people who think that was then and this is now. Look at how much First Nations’ have already been accommodated some are known to say. Except look around, try to see the invisible Indian as Counsellor Shirley Turcotte said to me, while I sat in her van on the way to the UBC Farm where she was meeting elder Jeri Sparrow and others to prepare herbs grown on the farm in the Aboriginal Heritage Garden. They were making salves from calendula and rosemary and pine pitch and a potpourri of so many other herbs. They were putting the resultant salve into small jars to hand out at a workshop she’ll give with Elder Jeri Sparrow and Alannah Earl Young-Leon at the Truth and Reconciliation events. The workshop takes place September 20th from 1-3:30 on the P.N.E. grounds. In the end, they’ll give  attendees a gift from mother earth to help shore them up and support them emotionally. A small jar filled with herbs from the land to help ground themselves when they feel overwhelmed, when they’ve heard too much, when a sound or a voice or someone else’s story becomes too much for them. Just another tool to help them continue on their journeys.

I could choose to pretend Reconciliation has nothing to do with me except I can’t. Because I think back to the sad face with the big frown and the huge brown eyes in my elementary school. Her name was Jody Martin. One day she was there. The next she wasn’t. No idea where she went.  It was never explained to us. I’ve carried her with me, her silence, within me  ever since she was there in Grade One or was it Grade Three and I have always wondered what happened to her? Why does she haunt me?

I think back to Simon, a First Nation’s carver who I dated, who called me after he had told his painful truths at a hearing and I knew it was a big deal when I tried to listen, to be present, but how could I ever know what that felt like and what it really meant for him to do that? I wonder how he’s doing. I couldn’t really be how he would have needed me to be then on the phone that evening.

And I think about how I am still always a little shocked whenever a First Nation’s person has a Ph. D. because my stereotypes get in the way. How is it that this person was able to overcome the collective history? I think back to the time I went onto the Neskonlith Band reservation, No. 1 or No. 3,  just outside Salmon Arm and they barely had running water, never mind access to technology and it was 1993.


I think about the beautiful First Nations’ jewelry that I was given as a parting gift from UBC Department of Computer Science  –  a ring and a silver bracelet – that I almost never remove,  and how when I’m around aboriginal people wearing that jewelry that is truly precious to me, I feel a little embarrassed. Will my reverence be seen as cultural appropriation?

As someone reminded me this week,  You can’t have reconciliation, or the beginnings of a move towards it, if the only people who participate in Truth and Reconciliation events are indigenous.  You can’t create a new type of society unless everyone cares enough to learn, tries to understand, participates, moves towards respect.

Here’s the schedule of how you can participate, the week of September 16-22  if you live in Vancouver.

Attend a one day course in Kelowna on Focusing Oriented Therapy.


  1. Well Said Gayle. I will participate this week in my heart. “The bell tolls for all of us”
    and the healing needs to include all of us.

    1. Thank you for your comment, Patricia. Indeed. The healing does need to include all of us. We’ve been changed by what happened and continues to happen to indigenous people in Canada, then and now, but in different ways of course. The fact that I don’t even really know the “right” terminology or that they are always separate – them and us – is a problem that changes every interaction we may have with an aboriginal, First Nations, Inuit or indigenous person.

  2. That’s a very important article Gayle. Well said. I hope you can get it printed in other media so it gets more attention. Everyone should read it. Thanks.

  3. Thank you Gayle for a very enlightening post; of course “I know about TRC” but actually I really didn’t – until now. Your article looked into corners I had not thought deeply about …

    1. Thank you Anne. I met with someone at work to talk about this and when she made that comment about how you can’t have reconciliation unless all Canadians – aboriginal and non aboriginal – come together really woke me up. It’s so obvious, and yet, I’ never really thought about it before. So, I’m glad my blog post provided some unique information for you and I really appreciate that you took the time to comment. See ya.

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