Yesterday on a whirlwind trip to Salt Spring, we met a young woman at a retail location who was obviously wracked by trying to make a very big personal decision.
Her internal dialogue was not able to be contained. She shared with us a little of what was going on for her. She had made a decision, all set to pack up and leave, all set to proceed with a decision, offering up all the external rationalizations as to why it made sense.
Both my friend Judith and I, with a good 20 plus years on her age, could hear how the answer had already been delivered to her. As Judith said, “the body never lies.”
All she had to do was truly listen to what she was feeling focusing on what was best for her, not for anyone else.
It’s amazing how much better you get, through all the emotional mistakes, of hearing what’s really going on, listening and heeding.
Her angst brought me back to a time when in my own life the rational won, when it shouldn’t have, and how in your 30s, sometimes not listening to oneself when the inner self is screaming, can take your life on an entirely different path than what it would have been. But, alas, life does go on.
It was a reminder that the only person you should ever truly make a decision to be compassionate and supportive of first and foremost is that vulnerable little inner self. The one full of emotional truth that is often going to make life challenging because the “correct” answer that will lead down a flowered path of happiness is in direct contrast to the rational decision.
The gap between what we know and what we have chosen to do is a spongy mucky place where the treasure lives.